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Lady Ghostbusters

The new Ghostbusters movie has been praised for putting women into roles once reserved exclusively for men. No longer relegated to secretaries or love interests, these ladies were going to be doing the actual busting. So many male tears were spilled and that was awesome because it’s cool when dudebros are given sadz.

Obviously, though, Lady Ghostbusters is still deeply, incredibly problematic. I mean, AYFKM with this trailer?

“Oh, wow, cool, three white ladies who are into science and inventing stuff” you’re thinking and then you see Leslie Jones and you’re like “YES AN AFRICAN AMERICAN GHOSTBUSTER” and then she’s all “I want to join your club” and you’re like “whoa hold on their club why can’t it be her club too” and then she’s all “you guys are really smart about this science stuff” and you’re like “WHY CAN’T THE BLACK LADY BE SMART ABOUT SCIENCE STUFF” and then you see her working in a subway and you’re like “ffs i cannot even with this.”

Every. Single. Time. One steps forward. Ten steps back.

Fortunately, our fellow warriors for social justice are all over it.

Uh, I think it’s pretty fkin obvious. 

UGH THIS. I mean, fans of the Ghostbusters would never settle for a blue collar African American character

would they?

Twitter gave the voiceless a chance to vent their rage:

oh i think we all know why

Hollywood is notably reactionary, though; to studio execs, ghosts are more believable than a black scientist. #smdh

Appropriate handle this one has.

I don’t know why people keep asking this when the answer is so obvious. It’s like asking “Why does she love Cadillacs?”

Remember: SALTY MALE TEARS are worth mocking while SOCIAL JUSTICE TEARS really make you think.

I think we all know why. Because everything’s a problem. 

I give the transgression of making a Lady Ghostbusters film in which one of the ladies is black and also not a scientist three problematics. 

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The Force Awakens

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Some people think that it’s really awesome how diverse the new Star Wars film is and how much more the diverse characters have to do. For instance, Jezebel celebrated the new film thusly:

This was a very good point; after all, who can forget Princess Leia doing literally nothing but giving birth and dying in the original trilogy? Remember the controversial “preggers Leia makes cookies barefoot whilst hanging out on Endor waiting for the menfolk to come home” scene? Shockingly retrograde, even for 1983.

But this time! This time we have a strong woman character!

And a strong black character!

And a strong Hispanic character!

So maybe Star Wars: The Force Awakens isn’t problematic! Maybe this, the most diverse Star Wars film ever made featuring numerous non-white-male characters in numerous roles is good enough!

lol jk

Don’t you know?

Did you forget while we were gone?

Tide Jersey Jalen College Limited Stitched Crimson 2 Blackout Everything’s a problem.

Caution: spoilers for The Force Awakens below. (Not that you should be seeing this horror show anyway.)

smdh

But alas, a curious thing happened on the way to a galaxy far, far away… The character of Finn as the penultimate symbol of racial inclusiveness for this franchise reboot is knocked unconscious during a climactic battle scene in the final act of the film, and he remains unconscious for the rest of the film.

Tide Jersey Jalen College Limited Stitched Crimson 2 Blackout Interesting use of “penultimate” here; if Finn is the second-to-last “symbol of racial inclusiveness,” one wonders who the last will be.

While this is not the first, nor will it be the last time that a character has been held in abeyance at the end or the beginning of a series installment, whether knocked unconscious, frozen in “carbonite”, abandoned or running away to a hidden land, world or fortress, robotic parts separated and/or power disconnected - the unconsciousness of Finn throughout the final act of “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” as I shall discuss it here in this piece, reveals to us that, White Hollywood, as we near the beginning of the last year of Obama’s presidency, is ushering in a new and more powerful form of racial tokenism.

Well, obvs.

Hyper-tokenism in a White film can be defined as the marked increase in screen time, dramatic involvement and promotional images of a Black character in a White film, while simultaneously reserving full dramatic agency as the providence of White characters by the end of the film.

In other words, a hyper-token is a fully formed character who happens to be minority.

JFC, is there no depth to which White Hollywood will stoop? FFS.

Moreover, hyper-tokenism takes a toll on the creative consciousness of Black filmmakers and writers in the sense that it makes it even more difficult to breech the loyalty of the Black audience from White films that have Hyper-Tokens and get that Black audience to support Black films where Black characters can exercise full dramatic agency without the approval of White characters or the guidance of the “White Savior Trope.”

wow really makes u think

Others have noticed deeply problematic themes in the world of The Force Awakens:

Much has been made of the ethnically diverse cast. The stars are John Boyega, a black British actor who plays Finn, a former Stormtrooper, and the white British actress Daisy Ridley as Rey, a scavenger with a mysterious backstory. The two are affable and telegenic, and there are fun moments between them as they battle a gathering galactic tyranny.

Tide Jersey Jalen College Limited Stitched Crimson 2 Blackout So far so good, but…

There just aren’t any sparks.

Ugh.

Boyega — who, by the way, worked sanitation duty as a Stormtrooper —

can you even with this because i cannot even with this and i tried so hard to even with this but i wasn’t able to even wi

spends most of the movie running scared while his co-star makes his status in the friend zone as clear as starlight. He is not powerful in the way Rey is. And it’s not that we don’t appreciate the skill of the young heroine; it’s just that she seems empowered at his expense.

Of course she would be; can’t have a strong black man be too strong now can we?

Tide Jersey Jalen College Limited Stitched Crimson 2 Blackout By contrast, the Finn character is remarkably anodyne. In important ways, a black character has moved from the periphery to the center of a blockbuster story. In other ways, Hollywood is still dancing around issues of intimacy and black heroism for a black male lead in a mixed-race cast.

As one smart aleck noted on Twitter

the whole time i was watching THE FORCE AWAKENS i was like “why haven’t i seen a dick yet”

We won’t have true equality onscreen until we do.

I give the transgression of making a super-diverse film that will almost certainly become the highest-grossing film in North America of all time four problematics.

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Everything

THIS.

Everything is problematic, including this post.

And it’s about fking time you all realized it.

Tide Jersey Jalen College Limited Stitched Crimson 2 Blackout I give the transgression of everything being problematic four problematics. Now we can start making change happen.

i quit

Spooning

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Some people think it’s cute when people lay in bed with their loved ones, holding each other in their arms. This act is commonly referred to as “spooning.”

Other people—enlightened people—realize that spooning is a deeply problematic way that power structures propagate themselves. Fortunately, such enlightened people are dominant in the media and can explain to us how we should be Good:

The more I reflect on spooning during my sojourn, the more I have come to see it as a terrible idea, one that’s fraught both physically and ideologically.

Yes, thank you! I’m glad someone is finally addressing this. 

Big spoons are manly and will take care of you (provided you let them use you to take care of themselves); little spoons are fragile, passive creatures that need to be held and kept safe. This, of course, is fundamentally a sexist arrangement, one that casts the big spoon as “the man” and the little spoon as “the woman.”

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To say that this power imbalance is built into all acts of spooning—whichever the sexes engaged—is not, I think, an overstatement.

Not only is it not an overstatement, it’s the truest thing I’ve ever read. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that the government should probably step in and begin educating our children about the ideologically unsound nature of spooning. Is it really too much to ask for a chapter in sex ed books on this topic?

I give the transgression of sleeping next to your loved one in an ideologically fraught way three problematics.

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‘Tomboy’

Sometimes you don’t even need to see a movie or read its script or even see an ad for it and you know that it’s obviously, deeply, incredibly problematic. Such is the case with Tomboy. I mean, can you even with this headline?

Seriously?

I mean, seriously?

The script, written by Hill from a story by Denis Hamill, centers on an ace assassin who is double-crossed by gangsters and falls into the hands of rogue surgeon known as “The Doctor,” who turns him into a woman.

Originally posted by niightdreamer4

The hitman (now a hitwoman) sets out for revenge, aided by a nurse named Johnnie, who also has secrets.

Originally posted by ms-captainrainbow

It’s really unbelievable. Fortunately outrage is building before cameras have even started rolling:

smdh

Really, “WTF” is the only proper response to this news. 

Tide Jersey Jalen College Limited Stitched Crimson 2 Blackout It’s almost as if the term “problematic” was created just for this project.

YES! THIS! This is the most problematic thing I’ve ever seen. 

I kind of don’t even know where to begin with this but suffice to say, it’s yet another project I can’t believe got the greenlight thanks to its insensitivity.

ugh hollywood is so reactionary

To base a film around someone who isn’t even trans (at least from THR’s report) getting the surgery forcibly is a horrendous idea.

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The backlash against the Eddie Redmayne-starring The Danish Girl (among several other projects) has proved hiring cis actors to play trans roles is a bad idea. And yet, it keeps happening.

Look, if you’re going to make a movie about a person being forcibly sex-changed, it should at least star someone who actually has been sex-changed, you know what I mean? FFS, Hollywood.

Fortunately, there’s still time to shut this monstrosity down as shooting doesn’t begin for another couple of weeks. Call your congressmen, email your college professors, tweet until your fingers bleed—do something. Anything. This movie must be stopped. It is literally the most problematic thing that has ever been made and the heat from all the takes that will be published if this movie makes it to big screens might destroy all life on planet Earth.

I give the transgression of even considering making the most problematic movie of all time four problematics.

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